I have been weary. Weary from life in 2020. Weary from COVID-19. Weary from quarantine. Weary from “homeschooling.” Weary from no hugs. Weary from a “new normal.” Weary from zooming. Weary from the social unrest and violence in the world. Weary from the inequities based on skin color. Weary from the disrespect shown to police officers. Wearing from trying to write a book. Weary from myself.
God gave me a directive I have not been following. He gave me the time, the finances, the medical insurance, the incredibly talented writers group, and the beautiful story written on my life. What have I done with these blessings?? I’ve squandered them. Not completely. But any amount is too much. I have let distractions, circumstances, and my personal weaknesses interfere with what God has called me to do.
God’s response … crickets.
I have sat at my computer for days/weeks/months on end … with frozen fingers. And a mind that wanders from thought to thought. A mind that criticizes those thoughts before they even have a chance to get to the screen.
But after the silence came the show. God went from leaving me in the writing process (well, actually, I left first), to showing up and showing out in my bible study. God’s perfect timing strikes again. I am knee-deep in frustration and weariness when it comes to writing. I have been thinking about my writer’s block, even talking about it.
Then I sit down for bible study. And the show begins.
Yesterday I left off in my study in the middle of week six, day three’s homework. I left off when Priscilla Shirer was discussing the “visual stimuli” that interferes with our ability to hear God.
Today I made my list of distractions then I obediently dealt “authoritatively” with them. I isolated myself from visual and auditory distractions, and I continued day three’s readings.
I was asked to meditate (slowly read aloud putting my name in the verses) on Isaiah 50:4-5.
“The Sovereign Lord has given me a well-instructed tongue,
to know the word that sustains the weary.
He wakens me morning by morning,
wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed.
The Sovereign Lord has opened my ears;
I have not been rebellious,
I have not turned away.” Isaiah 50:4-5
As I read these verses the words started jumping off the page and into my mind and heart. First one word then a sentence, then more. It was like these words were written for ME. Written for me to read on June 14, 2020. How is that possible? Isaiah was written thousands of years ago before Jesus Christ even walked the face of the earth. Yet, today, these words were written for me.
“The Sovereign Lord has given me an instructed tongue” to write the story he first wrote on my life (and is still writing).
So I “know the word that sustains the weary.” God knows I am weary from the writing process, and I need his Word today and his words to write.
“He wakens me morning by morning.” He awoke me today to what He is calling me to do. He wakens me each morning when I obediently carve out time to write AND include Him in the process.
“He wakens my ear to listen like one being taught.” When my ears are open, He will instruct me with what to write.
“The Sovereign Lord has opened my ears.” He has surely opened my ears today. He has opened my ears to what has not been consistent with my writing – obedience and opened ears.
“I have not been rebellious; I have not drawn back.” Well, after today I won’t.
I was on fire to write. I wanted to close my bible study book, run upstairs to my computer, and let my fingers fly. But God…
called me to read further. He called me to turn the page to week six, day four.
A RETURN TO OBEDIENCE
Yes, that’s the title. Apparently, I need to return to obedience. I need to return to carving out designated time to write. But not only that. I need to be obedient in not trying to do it on my own. I need to hear the voice of God. Have I mentioned my Bible study title is Discerning the Voice of God?
God called me to finish day four’s work before I write. For one of the tasks, I had to look up three bible passages regarding disobedience and God’s response. Amos 8:9-11 hit me hard. One of God’s responses to disobedience was sending “a famine of hearing the words of the LORD.”
I hear you God, loud and clear. Thank you for sending me a famine of words. Thank you for sending me the writer’s block needed to turn to You.
Writer’s block may seem like a negative circumstance. But God can turn anything into good.
When day four’s homework was done, I ran upstairs to my computer primed to work on the book. God had other plans. His ways are always better than mine. My fingers flew … and out came this blog post.